How to Be a Great Birth Partner

Supporting your partner during labor and birth can feel intimidating, especially if you’re unsure how to help. With the right strategies, you can make a huge difference in their experience and feel confident in your role.

I’m Anna, a registered nurse, childbirth educator, lactation counselor, and birth doula supporting expat families in the Eindhoven region of the Netherlands. Here are five practical ways to be a supportive birth partner.

1. Offer Words of Encouragement

Labor is intense and vulnerable. Your words can boost confidence and calm your partner. Try phrases like:

“You’re amazing!”
“You ARE doing it!”
“Every wave brings us closer to meeting our baby.”

Experiment during pregnancy to see what resonates best with your partner.

2. Watch for Tension and Help Release It

During contractions, your partner may unconsciously hold tension in their shoulders, jaw, or hands. You can:

Place your hand on the tense area
Encourage slow, deep breaths
Use gentle massage or counter pressure

Releasing tension can reduce pain and help labor progress more smoothly.

3. Offer Snacks and Hydration

Labor is physically demanding. Support your partner by:

Providing easily digestible, calorie-dense snacks (e.g., honey sticks or peanut butter)
Encouraging regular sips of water
Offering to take them to the toilet every 1–2 hours to relieve a full bladder

Keeping energy levels up and staying hydrated can make labor more manageable.

4. Provide Physical Support

Help your partner move and find comfortable positions:

Encourage swaying, slow dancing, or using a birth ball
Apply counter pressure to the back of the pelvis for pain relief
Support squats or standing positions to help baby descend
Follow your partner’s lead and offer support where it’s needed

5. Respect Their Needs for Space

Sometimes your partner may not want to be touched or talked to. That’s okay! Just your presence matters:

Continuous support improves birth outcomes
Shorter labor and increased chances of vaginal birth
Your partner’s focus inward is normal—being there is enough

Final Thoughts

Being a great birth partner is about encouragement, presence, and responding to your partner’s needs—physically, emotionally, and practically. Your support helps them feel safe, confident, and cared for.