Episode 21: No one ever told me…
Welcome to Pregnant in the Netherlands, your guide to pregnancy, birth, and beyond. In this episode, we explore what no one ever told parents about pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period—straight from our community of parents and our own experiences as doulas and childbirth educators.
I’m Anna, a birth and postpartum doula, childbirth educator, and lactation counselor, alongside Julianna, a birth doula and childbirth educator. We support parents in the Netherlands with evidence-based information, honest conversations, and practical guidance for pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.
What No One Ever Told Us About Birth
Many expecting parents assume they’ll know what to expect during labor and delivery. Here’s what our community shared:
Birth can be painful, even with hypnobirthing or breathing techniques.
Vocalizing during labor is normal—no one told you to be quiet, and expressing yourself can actually help.
Postpartum contractions (afterpains) can surprise new parents, especially while breastfeeding. These usually subside after a few days.
These realities highlight the importance of postpartum doula support and having someone experienced to guide you through early parenthood.
Tips for the Postpartum Period
Sleep and Co-sleeping:
Sleeping with your baby can be safe if you follow guidelines—firm mattress, no alcohol or drugs, minimal pillows and blankets. Close contact often helps both parent and baby sleep better.Managing Exhaustion:
Many parents are surprised by extreme fatigue during pregnancy and postpartum. Listen to your body, rest when you can, and accept help.Hormonal Changes and Body Awareness:
Hormones affect smell, sweating, and energy levels postpartum. This is natural and temporary—important for bonding and adjusting.Breastfeeding Challenges:
Breastfeeding can be more difficult than expected.
Both parent and baby are learning new skills.
Patience, support, and guidance from a lactation counselor can make a big difference.
Adjusting to Baby’s Sleep and Behavior:
Babies don’t follow predictable schedules.
Expect wide ranges in feeding, sleeping, and behavior.
Close contact provides comfort and helps regulate their routine.
Birth Preparation vs. Reality
Many parents are surprised when birth doesn’t go as planned:
Being coached to push in certain ways may conflict with your expectations from childbirth classes.
Medical labels may require interventions that feel different from your envisioned birth.
Advocating for your preferences, asking questions, and understanding what is medically necessary can help you maintain some control.
Birth is unique, and flexibility and knowledge are key. A doula can help you navigate this transition with confidence.
Emotional Surprises of Parenthood
Many parents experience unexpected emotions: crying at children performing, feeling overwhelmed, or intense connection to their baby.
Postpartum adjustment is a long road of physical, mental, and relational changes for both parents.
Allow yourself space to adapt, give yourself grace, and lean on your support system, including partners, family, and doulas.
Key Takeaways
Expect the unexpected: birth, postpartum, and parenting are full of surprises.
Build your support system: postpartum doulas, partners, and community help you thrive.
Embrace flexibility: your plans may change, and that’s okay.
Prioritize rest, bonding, and self-care: these are as important as caring for your baby.
Join Our Community
If you live in Eindhoven and want to connect with other expecting parents:
Join our Expecting Together WhatsApp group
Attend an Expecting Together Meetup
Learn more about our postpartum and birth support services:
