Episode 16: From Miscarriage to Motherhood
Anne Opens Up, Pt. 1
Pregnancy doesn’t always begin with a positive test and a smooth journey forward. For many families, it includes loss, uncertainty, and difficult experiences within the healthcare system.
In this episode of Pregnant in the Netherlands, we speak with Anne—a mother, entrepreneur, and founder of a natural skincare company—who shares her deeply personal journey through miscarriage, pregnancy, and ultimately finding a more supportive maternity system in the Netherlands.
A Gentle Note on Sensitive Topics
This episode includes open conversations about:
Miscarriage
Medical procedures (including D&C)
Physical pain and emotional impact
If this feels like a sensitive topic for you, please take care while listening and feel free to pause or skip sections as needed.
Experiencing Miscarriage in the UK
Before her first successful pregnancy, Anne experienced two miscarriages while living in London—both during the COVID pandemic.
What made this time especially difficult:
Limited access to support due to lockdowns
Physical symptoms like ongoing nausea and pain
Being far from family
Navigating the experience largely within the hospital system
In the UK, early pregnancy care often includes:
First scan around 10–12 weeks
Limited early monitoring unless concerns arise
A more medical, system-driven approach
This meant that both losses were first identified through private scans, followed by hospital confirmation.
The Reality of Miscarriage (That No One Prepares You For)
One of the most powerful parts of this conversation is the gap between expectation and reality.
Miscarriage is often described as “common”—but that doesn’t prepare you for:
The intensity of the pain
The amount of bleeding
The length of the process
The emotional toll of carrying a pregnancy that is no longer viable
Anne shares that:
👉 “You just want your body to start the process… especially when you’re sick the whole time.”
Yet many women are left without clear preparation or guidance for what the experience actually feels like.
Medical Management of Miscarriage
After confirmation of miscarriage, families are often given several options:
Wait for the miscarriage to happen naturally
Take medication to induce the process
Undergo a D&C (dilation and curettage)
Anne experienced both medication and surgical management.
Her experience highlights an important reality:
Medical procedures can be physically and emotionally intense
Pain management options may vary
Recovery can take weeks to months
👉 One key takeaway: informed preparation and emotional support are often missing—but deeply needed.
When Miscarriage Becomes a Medical Emergency
During her second miscarriage, Anne experienced:
Prolonged and unexpected pain
Uncertainty about what was happening in her body
An ambulance transfer to the hospital
This moment reflects something many parents feel:
👉 Not knowing what is normal—and when to seek help
Even though miscarriage is common, the experience itself can feel unpredictable and frightening without proper guidance.
Feeling Like “Just a Number” in the System
A recurring theme in Anne’s UK experience was the emotional disconnect in care.
She describes:
Interactions that felt clinical and routine
A lack of emotional acknowledgment
Minimal continuity with care providers
👉 “It’s something that happens every day… no one really feels for you.”
While efficiency is important in healthcare systems, this highlights the impact of how care is delivered—not just what care is given.
Choosing to Leave the UK During Pregnancy
When Anne became pregnant again, her previous experiences shaped a major decision:
👉 She didn’t want to give birth in the UK
At the same time:
COVID made remote work possible
Her family considerations shifted
They were already questioning long-term life in London
So at seven months pregnant, they made a big move:
➡️ Relocating to the Netherlands
A Completely Different Experience in the Netherlands
From the very first appointment, the difference in care was clear.
In the Dutch system, Anne experienced:
Midwives who knew her by name
Genuine interest in her as a person
A more holistic and relationship-based approach
👉 “They’re interested in you—not just checking if your baby is healthy.”
This reflects the midwifery model of care, which is standard for low-risk pregnancies in the Netherlands.
Why This Difference Matters
This shift in care model had a profound impact:
Greater sense of safety and trust
Feeling seen and heard
More confidence going into birth
For many expats, this is one of the most surprising aspects of the Dutch system.
💡 It’s not just about outcomes—it’s about how you feel during the process.
Key Takeaways
Miscarriage is common—but often poorly prepared for and supported
The physical and emotional experience can be intense and unpredictable
Healthcare systems vary greatly in approach and emotional support
The Dutch midwifery model offers more personalized, holistic care
Feeling seen, heard, and supported can change the entire experience of pregnancy
Support for Your Pregnancy Journey
If you’re navigating pregnancy, loss, or preparing for birth in the Netherlands, you don’t have to do it alone.
Explore support options:
Have Questions or Want to Share Your Story?
We’d love to hear from you.
Have you experienced pregnancy or loss in different countries?
What kind of support made the biggest difference for you?
Reach out or leave a comment—your story matters.
